Sexual Peak
by Foxy'sGirl
Summary: Awkward Tokka scented one-shot containing drunk Sokka, amazed Toph, and ridiculous musings about missing one's sexual peak.  Random and Funny.  No real plot.  Rated for mentions of sexual content.


**Random and Slightly Awkward. Just me having fun after too much constructive activity. I hope it makes some people laugh ****.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own A:TLA.**

Sokka trudged into the middle-ring pub after a long day of peace meetings. That was the one thing that he hated about peace, the treaties. He had to sign his name so many times that he was contemplating getting a stamp. Sokka sat down grumbling about how he was only nineteen and should not be expected to spend all day in a stuffy palace where they took away his weapons and made him sign the same treaties that he signed every other day.

He ordered a pint of golden ale and drained half of it in one gulp. Three pints later, his outlook on life had turned for the brighter, as he chatted animatedly to the old man sitting next to him about one time he tried to teach Momo to clap, paying no heed to the fact that the man was deaf and blind. However, soon a new bar friend captured the young water tribesman's attention. A haggard looking man of about 35 huffed loudly as he plopped onto the barstool immediately on Sokka's right. The man ordered a shot of strong fire-nation whiskey and asked the bartender to leave the bottle.

Sokka turned to the man, "Tough day?" The man didn't respond save for a gruff grunt that didn't manage to throw Sokka off of the trail. Sokka ordered another pint for himself and sat angled toward the man, expecting an answer.

The long awaited response came 4 shots later. "My wife is running me into the ground!" He whined desperately, throwing back another serving of alcohol. His face was rapidly turning a startling auburn.

Sokka thought back to his short and less than sweet relationship with Suki that had ended soon after the war did. "I hear you there brother. Women and their 'pick up your socks' or 'no I'm too tired tonight, honey'," Sokka added the second annoying thing that women say just for the sake of sympathy for his new buddy's situation. Although Sokka had tried many times, Suki had never conceded to any sort of intimate relations with him. Now looking back on the situation, he was glad that he hadn't embarrassed himself, but he still valiantly sought to cover up his self defined prudishness.

"I wish, man. I miss the 'not tonight' speech." Sokka furrowed his eyebrows and stared at his nameless best friend. The man seemed to sense his young companion's confusion, "My wife is 36 and she seems to have hit her 'sexual peak' that she's been taunting me with for years. I never thought I'd run away to the bar to avoid sex." The young warrior's jaw dropped at this statement. Running away to avoid sex?

"That's ridiculous." Sokka commented quietly, suddenly very jealous. He didn't think that his new friendship would last very long after all.

"Tell me about it. I'm so tired that my whole body is going to fall off, and all that will be left is my dick." The man looked up, eyes wide, in horror. Sokka looked at him aghast, could his whole body really fall off? If the young man had been anywhere near sober this scientific possibility would have bothered his analytical brain, but the eight empty pints on the counter in front of him proved that he was in fact completely shitfaced.

The two great buddies sat in silence for a few minutes before Sokka thought of something. "Wait a second, if your wife is at her sexual peak, then shouldn't you be too?" The man shook his head, while staring forlornly at the counter.

"I wish, men hit theirs when they're about nineteen."

"Oh" Sokka thought about this for a second. "OH. NINETEEN?" The man nodded, not seeing (or maybe just not noticing) why his new best friend was now hysterical. "I'm going to miss it!" Sokka shouted before jumping out of his seat, slamming a bill onto the counter, and running out of the bar before the bartender could kick him out for causing a disturbance. However as soon as he got through the pub's door, his sense of direction seemed to fail him and he ran straight into a portly gentleman in the street.

Sokka grabbed onto the man's velvet collar and pulled himself back to his feet. While his face was so conveniently close to the other man's he whispered, "I'm missing it," with the same fearful intonation that small children use to describe the monsters under their beds.

The drunk man then began striding down the street in an impossibly crooked line until he came to the train station. Sokka shoved a few coins to the train attendant in exchange for a gold and green ticket that would take him to the upper ring. The train ride felt like an eternity of torture, now that he knew his youth was slipping away. He was missing it, he was missing his sexual peak.

When the train stopped in the fanciest part of town, Sokka ignored the blurring of his vision and valiantly pressed on towards the house that the Gaang was staying in for the duration of the peace conference in Ba Sing Se. When he got there he threw open the door, determined to go and get Aang, so that he can have an avatar wingman, and go out and find a lady to show his god given sexual prowess. But the only response to the door's loud slam against the wall was a jolt from the ground underneath that sent him flying, only to land in a crumpled heap at the feet of the earthbender who turned the ground against him.

"Snoozles, how drunk are you exactly?" Toph asked after a minute. Sokka grabbed onto the girl's ankle and began to sob.

"I'm missing it! I'm missing it because I don't have a girlfriend and nobody wants me—e—e—e!" His words then turned into a rapid babble indiscernible through his thick, drunken tears.

Toph earthbended Sokka onto the nearest couch and sat down awkwardly beside him, however the blubbering water tribe man was unsatisfied by this, and he hurled himself across the short couch so that he was sitting with his head on Toph's shoulder and one leg was awkwardly strewn across her lap. Sokka grabbed a handful of the green material of Toph's tunic and cried into it, with a renewed stream of "I'm missing it!"

After a few minutes of sitting stock still while her long time crush sobbed into her shoulder, Toph asked, "Missing what?" in a stiff tone that could not more accurately mimic her current state of discomfort. She couldn't seem to muster the drive to shove him away from her (although she thought that she desperately wanted to), and despite his nonsensical and desperate cries, his leg across her lap felt strangely soothing and arousing at the same time.

Sokka pulled his head from Toph's shoulder and grabbed the front of her shirt, the action twisted the leg across Toph's lap at an incredibly awkward angle that must have been painful, but the drunk man didn't seem to notice. He pressed his forehead up against Toph's and looked deep into her eyes, seemingly not noticing that the action was completely wasted on the blind girl. "I'm missing my sexual peak."

Toph could tell that for some reason Sokka was uncomfortably and wonderfully close, and a little wretched girl inside her urged her to kiss him while he was vulnerable but the rest of her seemed to win out as she put her hands against his chest and shoved him firmly backwards until he lay more conventionally on the couch with one foot on her lap. He didn't seem to really notice the change in position as he continued to sob for a few minutes more. Then the sobs abruptly stopped, rather than fading to hiccups and eventually tears. The young man brought his other leg up and laid it across Toph's lap. He brought his hand up to his chin in a contemplative manner and slurred, "You know Toph, you're really pretty."

The years after the war had been kind to the young earthbender's appearance. While she still wore similar clothes and the same hairstyle, the babyfat had melted from her face leaving behind a striking young woman. Her body had of course matured as well, which was not escaping the young water tribesman's notice at the moment.

"And you're smokin' hot." Sokka added. This comment earned him a less than gentle smack to the thigh, which admittedly was a lot less of a consequence than the dislocation he probably would've gotten had Toph been able to see the drunken smirk that accompanied his words.

Again, Sokka didn't seem to notice the Earthbender hitting him, and he continued his musings. "What do you say to experiencing my sexual peak?" Toph was further shocked into silence. She'd witnessed drunk Sokka before, even seen drunk Sokka hitting on women but never anything this bizarre and startling. "I promise I'll be there for you when you're thirty six and driving your husband out of his mind with your insatiable horniness." To Toph, who of course hadn't met Sokka's best friend from the bar, had no idea why he was talking about when she was thirty six.

"Yeah, I actually think that this is a great idea! We can –" Sokka began before abruptly passing out midsentence. As soon as his jaw went slack with an audible pop, Toph almost shoved him off of the couch and onto the floor, but eventually decided to let him stay on the furniture.

"You're lucky I still like you Snoozles." She said gruffly to his immobile form. "Sexual peak? At least you're not boring" She commented, flicking his shin for no particular reason, but Sokka was dead to the world and there was no response but the nearly silent echo of her fingers snapping against the leather of his boot.

Toph sat there with Sokka's legs across her lap until Aang and Katara came home. When she 'saw' her friends arrive on the doorstep she shoved Sokka onto the floor, where he remained dead to the world. She explained to the drunk's sister that he'd passed out where he was laying, and the three conscious people had a lovely dinner together in the rather grandiose dining room, while Sokka snored.

Late that night, when the rest of the Gaang was asleep, Sokka jolted awake feeling that he had to do something urgently, but he could not, for the life of him, remember what it was.

**Yay randomness! If any of you caught the reference about the whole body falling off you should tell me in a review and I'll send you all of my love using the power of the internet machine…actually probably not, but I'd love to know if any of you got that. **

**Ummm…review please. Even if it's to tell me that you didn't like it, tell me why. **

**Oh, and Toph might seem slightly OOC but I thought that it kind of worked because Sokka was wierding her out and she was unsure of how to proceed. And yes drunk Sokka is ridiculous and I like him that way. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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